Laugh Out Loud Auto Jokes
At Balch Logistics, we love to laugh. And, in our opinion, there is nothing better than a good automobile joke. We searched long and wide along the roadways of the Internet and found these top five funny auto stories just for you:
1. Learner’s Permit
My 16 year old son was getting his learner’s permit, so I kept telling him, “Remember, when you get into your car with friends do not start driving until everyone is buckled-up.” He kept on asking me to repeat it, so finally I asked him, “Why do you need it repeated so many times?” “Don’t worry” he replied, “I just love hearing the words ‘your car’!
2. Real Estate Agent
A real estate agent bought a new sports car and had the engine revamped so that it would go even faster. I asked him, “Why do you need a car that goes over 150 mph?” He chuckled and replied, “I advertise this one house as being 5 minutes from shopping and I don’t want to lie!”
3. A Texan and Israeli
A Texas rancher was visiting a farmer in Israel. The proud Israeli showed him around. “Here is where I grow tomatoes, cucumbers, and squash. Over there I built a play set for my kids, next to the doghouse,” the farmer said.
The land was tiny, and the Texan was surprised by its small size. “Is this all your land?” he asked.
“Yes,” the Israeli said proudly. “This is all mine!”
“You mean this is it? This is all of it?” the Texan said incredulously.
“Yes, yes, this is really all mine!”
“Well, son,” said the Texan, “back home I’d get in my car before the sun’d come up and I’d drive and drive and drive, and when the sun set, why, I’d only be halfway across my land!”
“Oh, yes,” replied the Israeli farmer wistfully, “I used to have a car like that.”
4. A Pope Driving
The Pope goes to New York, and gets picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, “You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?”
The driver is understandably hesitant and says, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m supposed to do that.”
But the Pope persists, “Please?”
The driver finally lets up, “Oh, alright, I can’t really say no to the Pope.”
So the Pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speed demon! He hits the gas and goes around 100 mph in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over. The cop walks up and asks the Pope, “Roll down the window.” Startled and surprised, the young officer asks the Pope to wait a minute. He goes back to his patrol car and radios the chief.
Cop: Chief, I have a problem.
Chief: What sort of problem?
Cop: Well, you see, I pulled over this guy for driving way over the speed limit, but it’s someone really important.
Chief: Important like the mayor?
Cop: No, no, much more important than that.
Chief: Important like the governor?
Cop: Way more important than that.
Chief: Like the president?
Cop: Much more important.
Chief: “Who’s more important than the president?”
Cop: “I don’t know but he has the Pope DRIVING for him!”
5. Don’t Swear At Other Drivers!
Eddie was driving down the road and met a car coming the other way. Although there was room to pass easily, Eddie forced the oncoming car to reduce his speed, rolled down his window and shouted ‘Pig’. The other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie. Then his car hit the pig.
We hope you got a few good laughs from reading the car jokes – we sure did. Should you need your vehicle transported, our dedication to our customers defines extraordinary service. Once you call us, the transport of your vehicle will be fully arranged; just sit back, relax, and wait for the safe arrival of your specialized vehicle, or online purchase. Whatever your auto transport needs are, Balch Logistics facilitates the whole process. Our expert staff will be happy to arrange the safe and reliable transport of your vehicle whether it is a local move or coast to coast, including all 50 states and even Canada!